5 ways to move on after lumipat ng church

Madaling magsamba, tumalon at humiyaw sa church at maging all-out na tipong bibigay mo na lahat ng iyong oras, panahon,  emosyon, skills, para sa ministry, para sa church at, ang pinaka importante sa lahat para kay Jesus lalo na pag kasama mo ang circle mo. Ang teammates mo sa ministry, those people you’ve been looking up to throughout all these years. Tipong sila ang sandalan mo, sila ang pinaka motivation mo para magfull-time rin dito. Tipong pag nandiyan sila at home ka. Tipong tinginan pa lang sa mata, mababasa mo agad kung may pinagdadaanan sila. At minsan nga, papasok ka sa church, tatapikin lang nila sa balikat sabay sabing “oh kamusta”, maiiyak ka na. Tipong wala pang service, gusto mo ng mag-open ng mga pinagdaanan mo. At hindi mo nakikita ang sarili mong mapuputol ang cord ng circle ninyo up to the point na totally, mawawala sila. Mawawala ka.

Ang gandang pakinggan ng mga testimony ng long lasting relationships sa church. Tipong mula bata, laking church na, nagserve sa music ministry, may handle na disciple, nakita ang calling as Pastor, nag bible school, at ngayon ay pastor na rin sa local branch na siya na ang nag ooverseer.

That’s the linear expectation that would have been heard in the church. Iyong mga ganoong istorya ang nakakapag paencourage sa congregation na maging all out rin at gayahin ang path na dinaanan nila to live a life worthy of their calling to the Lord.

Pero magiging limitado ang paningin natin, and in fact biased, kung sa mga ganitong usapan lang tayo makikinig. Pero after all these church thing ito ang tanong ko, “Paano kaming mga umalis sa team. Sa circle. Sa previous church”. That’s why hindi natin pwedeng sabihing I knew church without considering the voice of marginalized group tulad ng mga nainvolve sa “heart break”. Hindi ko ibig sabihin na heartbreak ng mga jowawits. Tipong BHOZS_L0V3R_04. What I mean is the heart wrecking experience na after all these years, those people you look up to? They are gone. The circle, iyong teammates mong kasabayan mong pumikit sa antok sa jeep pauwi ng outreach sa bundok, they are not there anymore. Tipong pag may pinagdadaanan ka, wala ka ng shoulder to cry on. Kung baga sa pag check ng balance sa bangko, hindi lang 00.00 pesos, kundi access denied. Ang heart break na tinutukoy ko ay para sa amin, na mga Christians, pero hindi lang simpleng Christians -we who were once a part of the leadership in a local church but have, for any given reason, went away or became excluded or defiled -if you want to put it that way using old testament’s categorization or have yeah -Experienced Heartbreak.

Sinulat ko ang article na ito not to point fingers nor defame any organization nor people nor individual. That is against the 1987 Philippine Constitution. Sinulat ko ito upang kumatawan sa tinig na hindi na narinig at na balitaan na umalis na pala. Para sa mga binigyan ng temporary restraining order na huwag munang magparamdam, para sa mga maayos na nagpaalam pero alam mong may mga parts ng nayurakan, para sa mga nag-iwan na lang ng formal letter sa upuan at by then hindi na nasilayan. Yup this is for us.

Hindi ito para sa on-fire, iyong tipong sobrang gigil hindi na nakikita iyong "mali" aside. Hindi ito para sa pastors na nasa other side of the story hehe, we knew your point po. Yup we saw that life, but we just couldn’t live it. If we were? Hindi dapat ako nagsusulat ng ganito. Masaya dapat tayo and they live happily ever after. Kaso sa totoong mundo hindi e. May unpredictable situations kang pagdadaanan that will require your decision, you as a person. Hindi iyong imposed decision ng iba. Para ito sa mga nakaranas ng heartbreak. So let's go.

Una, welcome the real world of Christianity. Pangalawa, Congratulations! You made the correct choice to stay in faith and to really not let go of your relationship with God after all these wrecks. Messy ito. Wala ng pwedeng ibang word para gamitin as euphemism ng heart break. Hindi natin ito pwedeng i-sugar coat na ouch. Masakit! As in sobrang sakit! Tipong mamimiss mo sila pero access denied. Tipong “it could have been us, pero nag-break".

Pero I am a firm believer of season. Tipong may time for love and a time for hate, a time to throw away stones and a time to gather stones, a time for war and a time for peace.” At hindi ko alam sa iyo pero para sa akin, as in ako as a person, ito na ang time para mag move on. Siguro wounded ka pa and you need time for healing o siguro nag-engage ka kaagad at nauwi sa comparing game na “ah sa dati ganito, ngayon tayo dito hindi na ganito” as a way to cope up. Cope up? Talaga? Or is it just you saying na gusto mong bumalik "doon"? Either way, it’s for us. Para ma-iconsider na YES masakit ito, pero hindi ako mananatili dito. Hihilom ang sugat. Magmamarka bilang peklat. Pero mabubuo kang muli. Sa panganalan ni Hesus, mabubuo tayo uli. Bilang tao. Bilang leader. Bilang ang dating “kuya at ate” na tayo.

So let’s go and learn the art of moving on pag tapos lumipat ng church. Heads up. I made this tone as personal as I am so I am not after grammar rules and citations, wala tayo sa school. Iwan na muna natin doon ang Academic tone mga Ma'am/Sir. Nandito tayo sa totoong mundo. At gagamitin natin jargons na tayo lang din ang nakaalam tulad ng breakthrough, isolated, on-fire, devotion etc.

 Gear up

Para  makapag move on, dapat aware ka na dumaan o dumadaan ka ngayon sa heartbreak. I mean hindi mo pwedeng iset aside ang realidad na nasaktan ka, and in one way or another, nakasakit din naman ng iba. Yes. Aminin man natin ito o hindi, somehow, we’ve let them down. Somehow hindi tayo naging Rexona na Won’t let you down.

But seriously hindi tayo pwedeng umikot sa cycle ng denial na “hindi, okay lang ako. Strong me e.” And after acknowledging the pain, let us to this for ourselves. Hindi ka pwedeng magmove on kasi may lost soul na hindi mamiministeran dahil wala ka sa field. Hala? Pajolibee? Bida ang saya? I mean you have to come to a point in your life na for once, gagawin mo na ito para sa iyo. Para maging okay na, ulit.

Next thing you have to consider is Who? Yup dati nandiyan sila na shoulder to cry on mo. Pero ngayon iba na e. In fact, ibang iba na. Wala ng gagawa nito para sa iyo. Ikaw na mismo ang kusang babangon sa pagkakadapa at sasabihin sa sariling “Hindi ako ito. Hindi ako dapat nandito.”

And yes you can move on even right now. Maybe it will give you a boost to attend your preferred church or maybe you can just lock up for a day and just read the bible and go to your life verses again, recalling your landmarks and how the Lord made himself known to you personally. And in fact, you can stop reading now and just connect to the presence of the Lord. Iyong klase na intensity kung paano ka talaga nakakabreakthrough on your own. Thus, we are the push we need. Hindi mo kailangan ng ibang tao. Ang kailangan mo ay firm decision na “this time ikaw at ako na Lord. This time ikaw na ang pipiliin ko,”

Alam mo iyong kwento noong fired up na si David, sabi ni King Saul sa kanya, tipong pasugod na e, “oy bida-bida ka. Suotin mo itong gear ko para hindi ka mamatay sa laban ninyo ni Goliath. Expert na iyon boi.” Actually sinubukan ni David e. Sinuot niya iyong gear at naglakad ng ilang hakbang, pero hindi nagwork out e. It is as if David is saying “Hindi ako ito. Hindi ito ang gear ko.” Gear na iyong tipong kahit makinig ka ng 100 na preaching ng ibang tao, pero hanggang hindi ka talaga nagdedevotion, wala ka talagang sword, thus paktay ka diha. So gear up, okay?

Do what you have to

Noong mga panahong nagliliwaliw ako sa other side, yup sa life of sin, for some reason nagkaroon kami ng chance na mag-heart to heart talk ng highschool bestfried ko, a father of two. I opened my current situation about willful “self-deterioration” and his words struck my heart. “Alam mo galit ka e.  Do what you have to but set time limit. Hindi ko nakitang galit ako. Sa lahat ng nangyari, sa pagkabasag ng church, sa pagmakatay ni Daddy. At ang hindi ko maamin sa sarili ko ay galit ako kay Lord. Sino ba namang hindi? After all these sacrifice I do, ganito pa? Ayawan na lang, ganyan ka naman pala e. Deserve ko ba ito? Hindi. Then why? And a still small voice speaks to my heart “Neither do Jesus”. Kahit si Jesus hindi niya deserve iyon. But it happened. And it happened for a reason -for the salvation of many. Could it be possible na same? For maturity's sake?

Take U-turn

Kung nasa other side ka ngayon, "do what you have to" that's what my non christian best friend said. So I say now bro Express your anger through a sinful living, lantad man ito o hindi, you know where you are. I have been there. Alam ko rin iyong daan boi. Jesus saw your cleared browsing history. Masarap sa other side. Yes, but the satisfaction is not sustainable. Kasi after mong mag-enjoy, depress ka. See? Self-deteriorating iyan. Next thing you know, you’ve already committed suicide.

Bakit ba nakaka enjoy sa other side? During my rebellious years, ang magiging kaclose mo rin ay ang dating on-fire sa church but refused to turn back. So here you are, guided by blind guides, willfully accepting na ang mali ay tama at ang tama ay mali.

But bro, don’t pile up consequences. Alam mong mali iyan. Quick reminder though. May bayad iyan. Hindi man evident ngayon, pero later on meron. At ang dulo, iba na ang laman ng puso mo. Nakuha na ang soul mo. But the choice is yours. I am not here to impose na mag U-turn what I am saying is choose life, that you might live.

Mamahay

Medyo mabigat iyong usapan a while ago so here is a lighter note. Na subukan mo na bang matulog sa ibang bahay? Tipong hindi ka makatulog kasi na mamahay ka? Hindi mo kama ito. Hindi ito ang amoy ng unan mo. Walang electric fan na naka-number 3 na nakatutok sa mukha mo tapos 2 a.m. kisay-kisay ka na. 

Ganoon din tayo sa bagong nilipatan. You have to consider na hindi na sila ito. Para kang nasa bagong school na hindi mo na kasama ang squad mo dati. Para kang batang nangangapa muna sa unang lingo after magstart ng classes tapos kina tatlong buwan lang may kabatuhan na ng floor mat.   

Adjusting ito e. So Lower your cravings for deep conversation. Dati ganoon tayo e. Sa sobrang intimate na natin sa kateam natin, tabi lang kayo sa gilid tapos mag-usap, mamaya nasa 7^th heaven na kayo e.

If you want a quality relationship, pag laanan mo ng quantity. Paano kayong magiging close kung 45 minute fellowship lang ang allotted mo kapag Sunday? I am not saying na ubusin mo na naman ang oras mong kilalanin ang ibang tao, up to the point na hindi ka na nakikita ng mga magulang mo. What I am saying is if you want a squad, build it.  Share yourself but guard up. Ngayong naghihilom ka na, mas alam mo na kung saan, kanino, bakit at paano ilalaan ang oras mo, thus ang buhay mo. Siguro ang pinaka safe standard na lang din na we can apply for ourselves ay sa bawat fellowship ninyo ng bagong grupo always ask, “where is Jesus?” Minsan may mga toxic interaction na hindi na talaga sumasalamin sa rason kung bakit ka sumasama sa kanila, and in that interaction, evaluate first then decide. If it is going against your convictions, say it and wait for responses of change. If it is a yes, stay. If it is a no, leave. You do you.

Love again

With all these realizations, I leave you with this thought. “Expect the worst, but love again anyways”. Bro hindi sure na dahil new environment, wala ng old issues. Yes may lalabas at lalabas na issues as you go along sharing lives together but love anyways. Ikaw ang makakapagsabi kung nagiging totoo ka sa kanila or this is just a role you want to play out with them -kasi iyon ang ideal iportray mo pero hindi naman talaga ito ang totoong ikaw. That’s why it is really hard to act out roles. But in reality we are so good at playing roles. Hindi ba kuya? Hindi ba ate? Iyong label pa lang na "leader" gusto mo ng magSuper Saiyan at super Christian na hindi talaga ikaw. So be transparent but also watch your attitude. Hehe, hindi na tayo bata e. Hindi na tayo pwedeng magtantrums kung kani-kanino and expect them to stay in our lives e.

So in all these, ang pinaka commodity na hawak at nakabatay sa decisions mo ay ang Time mo. Lumilipas ito kada Segundo at nawa’y napupunta ito sa mga bagay na valuable sa iyo bilang tao at kay Jesus bilang Lord mo.

And don’t worry hindi nacancel lahat ng sacrifices mo sa ministry noong binuhos mo lahat ng pato mo, si Lord ang magrereward sa iyo, at okay lang kahit hindi mo dala ang SM advantage card, valid pa din ang promo.

Until then, this is a prodigal son who went back saying to you “ang dami nating haharvestin pa bro, gising!”.

is sharing necessary?

There is no perfect personality that we can enact to. In my case, I am beginning to realize that disengagement is socially and psychologically unhealthy.

Have you ever gone to the point in your life where you lost a lot of people in your life and you don’t want to try again? I read that we need to relate. I mean that is a psychological need of man. If we are not able to express ourselves, we will be clogged in a subjective reality that we created by our own thoughts alone.

I don’t know about you but I found it dangerous. But to be honest, I am doing that myself. When we live by our own thoughts, we will interpret things according to how we see them. And the reality is, we are bound to pursue our emotions by how we interpret the world. If we are hateful to a person, everything he or she does is offensive. That’s why there will be a loophole in our interpretation. More than being egoistic, or self-centered, we need to get away from our thoughts. We need to consider other interpretations. By letting our previous thinking be evaluated along the way, it will be viable by willful change.

The most recent and important issue we need to address is the claim that we lost people in our lives. By assuming that companion from key people are the only significant and viable relationship we can have, we are limiting life. We are going against science because every living thing will die. If key people in your life die and they went out of your life, what will you do? Will you isolate? Will you let life and its evil thereof get the best out of you? Will you waste another day being depressed by remembering happy memories that can’t be felt anymore? Worst yet, will you cease to exist because everything has changed?

We need to question our claims. We need to step back from our subjective realities and re-evaluate if it is bringing any good in our lives. Change will intentionally be achieved only by genuinely realizing that we are heading to destruction.

And the first counter argument of us being left alone is we are incorporated in a society where there are people interacting with us in different levels. Most of these people are, by default, strangers. That’s why we have to decide if this stranger will be given an opportunity to be known.

We then need to consider that this stranger has its own strengths and weakness. It can either exceed or disappoint our expectation. However, more than labeling someone and giving them treatment according to their score based on our standards, we need to recreate meaning with them. Because only by sharing meaning and by observing the same thought pattern can we build relationship for we are relating.

Is it possible that we intentionally locked ourselves down and claim to be a victim? Is it possible that we dragged ourselves down here, in a mud of despair and being alone because we neglected to share?

The consequence of being an introvert is we do not share thoughts as long as we have not calculated it yet. And it can result to false assumptions about us.

I believe in social (re)constructionism. It means that we can reconstruct ourselves. It means that we are not done yet. It means more the desire to willfully impose our personality to others, we can also work on weaknesses by coping up. Again, we are responsible for our thoughts and actions. This is real life. It’s time to genuine welcome and allow happiness by sharing our lives.

Poem Review: Our Mother Tongue by Rizal

Our Mother Tongue

IF truly a people dearly love
The tongue to them by Heaven sent,
They'll surely yearn for liberty
Like a bird above in the firmament.

BECAUSE by its language one can judge
A town, a barrio, and kingdom;
And like any other created thing
Every human being loves his freedom.

ONE who doesn't love his native tongue,
Is worse than putrid fish and beast;
AND like a truly precious thing
It therefore deserves to be cherished.

THE Tagalog language's akin to Latin,
To English, Spanish, angelical tongue;
For God who knows how to look after us
This language He bestowed us upon.

AS others, our language is the same
With alphabet and letters of its own,
It was lost because a storm did destroy
On the lake the bangka 1 in years bygone.

§  What is the poem about? OR What is the theme of the poem?

-       It talks about the love for Filipino Language

§  Who is the speaker?

-       Rizal

§  Who is the poem addressed to?

-       Filipino People

§  What is the tone of speaking?

-       Third person

§  Does the poem belong to any particular category? (Ode, sonnet, ballad, dramatic monologue, lyric, confessional, modern, post-modern, etc.)

-       poem

§  What is the mood of the poem? (Happy, sad)

-       nationalistic

§  How does the poem begin? (Most poems begin either with a description of something or a statement)

-       It begins with contrast by conditional statement that love for language must result to freedom.

§  How does the poem proceed? (When writing, include a short summary of the poem.)

-       It opens up with classification of a nationalist individual, and then points the importance of language as means of identity. The 3^rd stanza contrast unloving people as animal. Stanza 4 compares Tagalog to foreign language as God’s gift. The 5^th stanza concludes the Subject as lost.

§  Does the initial mood change? Why?

-       no

§  How does the poem end?

-       With awareness of language extinction

§  What is the philosophy of life expressed in the poem? (Optimistic, pessimistic, religious, pantheistic, mystical, cynical, etc.)

-       It warns readers

§  Are there any autobiographical elements in the poem?

-       none

§  Has the poet used any figures of speech? Are they apt and suitable to the situation? How do they enhance the meaning? (One great quality of good poets is to find similarity in quite dissimilar things.)

-       Simile

§  Are there things like a rhyme scheme, alliteration, assonance, etc.? Do they add to the charm of the poem?

-       add

§  Has the poem got any contemporary significance? Is the theme universal?

-       yes

§  Does the poem remind you of any other poem? What are the similarities and differences?

-       no

§  What feeling has the poem created in you? Is it touching, for example?

-       inspirational

Poem Review: To The Philippines by Rizal

TO THE PHILIPPINES by J.P. Rizal
The light foam of the son'rous sea Doth kiss her feet with loving desire;The cultured West adores her smileAnd the frosty Pole her flow'red attire.
With tenderness, stammering, my MuseTo her 'midst undines and naiads does sing;I offer her my fortune and bliss:Oh, artists! her brow chaste ringWith myrtle green and roses red
§  What is the poem about? OR What is the theme of the poem?
-       It is about the Philippines being compared as beautiful as a woman lover
§  Who is the speaker?
-       Rizal
§  Who is the poem addressed to?
-       To the country
§  What is the tone of speaking?
-       First person, I (found on 3^rd stanza)
§  Does the poem belong to any particular category? (Ode, sonnet, ballad, dramatic monologue, lyric, confessional, modern, post-modern, etc.)
-       sonnet
§  What is the mood of the poem? (Happy, sad)
-       inspired
§  How does the poem begin? (Most poems begin either with a description of something or a statement)
-       It begins with description of sunrise while someone is still asleep
§  How does the poem proceed? (When writing, include a short summary of the poem.)
-       The poem opens up with general description of nature and land, then proceeds to physical attributes and attire, and ends to offering to please the mother land.
§  Does the initial mood change? Why?
-       It is consistently descriptive.
§  How does the poem end?
-       With a vow to give fortune and bliss
§  What is the philosophy of life expressed in the poem? (Optimistic, pessimistic, religious, pantheistic, mystical, cynical, etc.)
-       optimistic
§  Are there any autobiographical elements in the poem?
-       none
§  Has the poet used any figures of speech? Are they apt and suitable to the situation? How do they enhance the meaning? (One great quality of good poets is to find similarity in quite dissimilar things.)
-       Yes, it pictures the subject using colorful words.
§  Are there things like a rhyme scheme, alliteration, assonance, etc.? Do they add to the charm of the poem?
-       A
B,AB Pattern
-       yes
§  Does the poem remind you of any other poem? What are the similarities and differences?
-       no
§  What feeling has the poem created in you? Is it touching, for example?

Aglowing and fair like a houri on high,Full of grace and pure like the Morn that peepsWhen in the sky the clouds are tinted blue,Of th' Indian land, a goddess sleeps.

And lilies, and extol the Philippines!

§  Has the poem got any contemporary significance? Is the theme universal?

-       It is imaginative

Poem review of Mi Ultimo Adios by Jose Rizal

Here is a Poem review of Mi Ultimo Adios by Jose Rizal

§  What is the poem about? OR What is the theme of the poem?

  It is about the last message of Rizal for the Philippines, his family and friends, to prayerful men, and to next generation Filipinos.

§  Who is the speaker?

  Jose Rizal

§  Who is the poem addressed to?

  To Philippines, family and relatives, and future people who’ll visit the grave

§  What is the tone of speaking?

  First person

§  Does the poem belong to any particular category? (Ode, sonnet, ballad, dramatic monologue, lyric, confessional, modern, post-modern, etc.)

§  What is the mood of the poem? (Happy, sad)

  sad

§  How does the poem begin? (Most poems begin either with a description of something or a statement)

  The poem begins in a farewell statement and Rizal’s assurance of a willful death

§  How does the poem proceed? (When writing, include a short summary of the poem.)

  The poem shows Philippines as the most beautiful place then proceeds to battle fields and honorary death. At the 3^rd stanza, the author recognizes his death and encourages the Philippines to pour out his blood if it needed be. The fourth and fifth stanzas emphasize Rizal’s youthful play and soaring dreams that concludes a cry of pre-execution sentiments. The 6^th, 7^th and 8^th stanzas portray a message for future grave visitors to remember him and offer a prayer. The 9^th stanza begs for universal prayer to honor those who sacrificed their lives before Rizal. And the 10^th stanza became a reminder of Rizal that his song for the Philippines will be heard after all else is gone. The 10^th and 11^th stanzas are Rizal’s sentiments that if his grave is eventually forgotten, at least his ashes are poured in the mother land. Stanzas 12 and 13 are adoration to the country. The 14^th stanza is a conclusive goodbye for all.

§  Does the initial mood change? Why?

  No, it remained dreamy and sad.

§  How does the poem end?

   With a goodbye.

§  What is the philosophy of life expressed in the poem? (Optimistic, pessimistic, religious, pantheistic, mystical, cynical, etc.)

  nationalistic

§  Are there any autobiographical elements in the poem?

  The inclusion of childhood vivid memories and the farewell to family members.

§  Has the poet used any figures of speech? Are they apt and suitable to the situation? How do they enhance the meaning? (One great quality of good poets is to find similarity in quite dissimilar things.)

  Yes. He uses personification, simile, and analogy.

§  Are there things like a rhyme scheme, alliteration, assonance, etc.? Do they add to the charm of the poem?

  yes

§  Has the poem got any contemporary significance? Is the theme universal?

  yes

§  Does the poem remind you of any other poem? What are the similarities and differences?

  Robert Frost -  A Road not Taken

§  What feeling has the poem created in you? Is it touching, for example?

  It is nationalistic and self-sacrificial