Fix me I'm broken

Jealous. What comes first in your mind when you encounter this word? Others say, especially couples, that jealousy is a sign of love. He loves his partner so much, it would end up in another fight if she mingles to anyone. Sarcastically, jealousy will soon come to this point - L.Q. or Lover's Quarrel.

But I see being jealous more that what they claim it to be. For me it is actually mistrust rooted from insecurity.

If I would enter in a relationship, I'll make sure my heart is complete. I don't buy the qoute "fix me I'm broken". And if I'm incomplete and entered be in mutual status with someone, surely it is rightful for me not to trust and be insecure. Isn't it unfair to her? She not the problem, I am.

So jealousy and all issues of life can be avoided once both parties are emotionally whole. But can I become whole all by myself? If "fix me I'm  broken", didn't I came to a point when I gave up trying to fix myself? Yes, the idea is great but I want fact more  than fiction. Show me how!

And that place of total brokenness no man can fix is where God sets in. If fixing a broken heart be available in Med Schools, then Doctors could prescribe cure over the counter. But that's not the case. So if men didn't made us, why seek healing through them? Can Samsung fix Toshiba? Can HP fix Lenovo? No. God made you so run after him for your heart. And it will be restored as good as brand new.

Just one touch

“A woman in the crowd had suffered for twelve years with constant bleeding. 26 She had suffered a great deal from many doctors, and over the years she had spent everything she had to pay them, but she had gotten no better. In fact, she had gotten worse. 27 she had heard about Jesus, so she came up behind Him through the crowd and touched his robe. 28 For she thought, “if I can just touch his robe, I will be healed.” 29 Immediately the bleeding stopped, and she could feel in her body that she had been healed of her terrible condition. 30 Jesus realized at once that healing power had gone out from him, so he turned around in the crowd and asked, ‘who touched my robe?” (Mark 5:25-30)

Sometimes life's trial stab us with pain, bleeding until now. Our emotional hemorrhage came from broken relationships from the past or disappointments to our own self. Often disregarded, we often end up giving everything to somebody that might help us. “…Over the years she had spent everything she had to pay them, but she had gotten no better.”(verse 26)

Over the years we had spent our life to a relationship that doesn’t work out. We tossed away time desiring for change and starting something new, but still end up broken. Through the process of finding a cure, the person we'd expected help left us. For new career; along the way we decided to quit job after realizing it's worth the sacrifices at all. But our cycle of defeat will continue until the root of dependence is not properly dealt by Jesus.

Then there will come a time when we had enough seeking for help, when self pity turned to acceptance, that the Healer comes.

“…she had heard about Jesus, so she came up behind Him through the crowd and touched his robe.”(verse 27)

Eager to be healed, the woman grabbed her one-shot deal with such intensified hope and faith, “For she thought, ‘if I can just touch his robe, I will be healed.”(verse 28)

Realization will come in after you got tired of trying to be whole, but still, broken. I imagine her determination. She ran to Him saying, “I’m done with frustration, with depression. It’s no use trying to patch this blood gushing out of me. This is my last chance to be healed. I may have failed thousand times, but today I’ll leave them behind. I don’t care if it took me dozen year with this sickness. But no one can rob me off this time; I’ll put my faith to Jesus. Even if I have to go pass through that crowd considering my own pain, I’ll do it. I’ll touch him with my heart and faith.

“Immediately the bleeding stopped, and she could feel in her body that she had been healed of her terrible condition.” (Mark 5:29)

Then the woman, out of weeping and groaning, extracted the best worship no one has done. The grace of God flowed out to her, healing her physical body, fixing whole her life.

There in the sanctuary of the Lord, we find abundant grace like a river. Healing is freely given.

Yes, people may have used you then left you worse, but Jesus is the Healer. Perhaps a person in your past cost you your heart. Your present decision could have cost you your life as a whole. But Jesus is standing in that crowd, waiting for your touch. Leave your pain behind and press in towards Him. It may sound another false hope, but dare to trust this time.

A nightmare for women: RAPE

"You have a dream and are willing to give all what it takes to fulfil it, something others will be proud of. But something happened. You are used by someone's demonic inclination; You are raped. Your body is used as a toy. Suddenly a nightmare hunts you alive..."

Last night I heard the news about a girl gang raped on a tricycle at bicol. 4 men molested her. Today I heard a girl walking on a rainy sidewalk harrased by a rapist to have sex. She avoided him by going upto the middle of the road. Cars passing by, but she was overpowered. The girl was molested right beside a busy street but she couldn't shout because knife is sure to kill her. All on a work as usual night, with people walking after them thinking to get through that rain as fast as they can, innocent life is broken. The authorities are Counseling her to cope up from trauma. They'll be saying her words and will analyse her psychological health but the rapist, who sure had his comfort manifested, will lie in wait for another victim till the time hormone calls again. I am bothered by these men who didn't realize the physical, emotional, and social pain after that intercourse. Yes they saw the satisfaction of flesh after this crime but does it end there? For them who have nothing to do but to finish his desire, nothing is lost. But I felt deep sympathy for the victims. Shall we walk on their shoes to feel the pain? So from here on let's change some point of view. You have a normal life. You have a loving family and a fair share of failures. It is the thing they say "room for improvement". You have a dream and are willing to give all what it takes to fulfil it, something others will be proud of. But something happened. You are used by someone's demonic inclination; You are raped. Your body is used as a toy. Suddenly a nightmare hunts you alive. You wished it was just a dream but the more you realise what happened, the deeper truth sinks in. It is not hallucinations nor something someone can pacify. Suddenly that nightmare killed you. It kills the way you look at yourself, the you look at others, the family you once felt protected, and the sense of self-worth by achieving your dream. They are all gone. Your life abruptly changed after an hour you would rather forget forever. But the thing is as you look outside the window, as you stare alone in the shower, as you tried hard to get rid of that nightmare, it hunts you down all the more. If only you could do something, you would. If only the men stopped, but they didn't. Suddenly all was lost. Damage is done. As I write and came to see the pain of rape victims, there's anger inside me. It is not an anger to do wrong but to punish wrong. I want to be angry to the rapist because they ruin life. I want to be angry with filipino justice for it has nothing to do but to play politics. I want to be angry with myself for that moment that I was convinced sex is good. No. It is at the vicinity of marriage and must always think of others. But these rapist are so evil, they don't seem to have any conscience at all. The judgement of God will surely overtake them.Even right now, other than sympathy and anger, the next progress we can take is to support the victims to gain self respect again. I pray that God will take back everything that the devil has stolen in their lives, from worth to love to impression of mankind and the rest. For the rapist I pray the righteousness of God as a judge. God is good, he forgives the repentant but He burns the self professing sinners and callused heart who chose hell. I pray for right judgement in every man whether good or bad and justice for all who needs them.In Jesus name Amen

Futility of own glory

Everything is worthless if we seek to glorify ourselves.

"Those who speak for themselves want glory only for themselves, but a person who seeks to honor the one who sent him speaks truth, not lies." (John 7:18)

Judge not

Sometimes we judge other people so much,
But little do we see our own faults

The Legend of Three Trees - Animated Christian Movie

Jesus` motivation

3 pts i learned after a 5 day trip to Unciano Medical Center for reccuring Urinary Track Infection were;

1. Don`t fear your situation
2. Don`t fear man`s opinion
3. Fear God`s conviction



 1. Don`t fear your situation

being sick and having to be confined while thinking about medical bills and over the counter 8 hour antibiotic can sure weaken one`s spirit. But the word of God stands stronger than our need. Sunday night when I was admitted at room 322, a semi-private ward that was my room last last time I was confined.

Their policy is the room must be occupied by a same case, or same sex patient. for example,  i was brought earlier, a male adult with UTI, then it is most likely that my roommate is male with the same illness.

Jesus showed the strength of having a
perfect peace in God. Anticipating the terror of what`s about to happen, he didn't fear. Why would he be afraid anyway? Even Jesus lived a life of faith because during his time on earth, ressurection is impossible. But he trusted God in spite of everything, then He recieved the promise of God. Jesus didn't rot in the eternal jail of the wicked, but was set free because wickedness was not found in him. Therefore now we can place our faith to he one who experienced our pain yet overcame. Do not be afraid just as Jesus was not afraid.




2. Don't fear man's opinion


either you do good or bad, someone will still say something. Man echoes the nature of God but became futile because of wickedness. That nature is to speak-forth then comes action being done. That's what James emphasized when it talk about man owning his lips. So that it can't be tamed unlike animals. And we also see in Matthew that the words we speak are just results from what's on our heart. No matter how accurate or authoritative Man's words can be, lest no matter how sharp it can hurt, it is nothing compared to God's word. It can change what the Doctors found out. It can reverse what we rationalize. God set his word above his name. Have you imagined that? God, being all sovereign God, would do anything to fulfill his word. It would mean wiping out mankind considering how inclined he is to sin - but that's not God's way. The word of God is so strong it broke the law of death which connects to sin.



3. Fear God's conviction


We can't live contradicting our conviction because it is related to our conscience. It serves a  the light bulb of God. Once our conscience is seered, it will be hard to have true repentance. I recall how king David sought after God's forgiveness when he realized his sin against Bathsheba. I believe that the Holy Spirit was there when David saw and called for Bathsheba. The Spirit of God was talking to the king's heart when he ordered for the servants to call for the woman. He was there when the woman entered David's room and they started to bed. Unlike man, God is faithful. Even up to the last chance of convicting David, I believe the Holy Spirit didn't stop knocking to the king's heart. He was there all the time but still David forcefully decided to sin. That's the fall of the after God's own heart. And so the fear of God's conviction must not depart from our heart.